Our regrets watch you run
by Ififall
Summary: Set after "Spare parts" When Jack goes missing after the trial. How do the gang cope without him?


When they watched Jack leave, they thought he'd gone home, not gone for good. They all felt guilty going to his home rifling through his things, trying to find clues or a lead that would tell them where he'd go. Although they really wanted Esther to be right about Jack leaving Mary, so he had to come back, being in the force had told them they they could never be too sure. After looking and finding nothing, and going back to work to tell a furious Strickland the lastest news, Gerry suggested they go to the pub.

"Any excuse Gerry, drowning your sorrows isn't the best way to handle this" Said Sandra.

Gerry said: "Who said anything about Sorrow, we need to talk about how to find him, he could have wondered off somewhere got lost-"

"He's a grown man, not lassie" Said Brian. "He'll come back when he's ready"

"So we're just gonna go home and wait like lemons until we get bad news?" Gerry questioned them.

"No we carry on as normal" Said Sandra.

"Until we make our own news" Said Brian.

Gerry had no idea what Brian was talking about. Sometimes Brian was so on the ball it was unbelieveable, but other times Brian didn't make any sense, but Gerry didn't want anymore details, he was confused enough already. Sandra asked them to leave their phones on at all times just in case Jack attempted to call them. It had been a painful day for all of them and Sandra couldn't help but feel as their superior that she could have done something more, but she stood her ground at the trial and supported Jack so deep down she knew that she had nothing to be ashamed of as she drove home. Gerry on the other hand felt that he'd let Jack down. the fact that he used UCOS's resources to find out the truth about Emily, who now couldn't stand him because he'd lied to her, when in fact he was only trying to protect her. As Gerry reflected on the way she looked at him as she went down the stairs, he realised Sandra was right, he did need to drown his Sorrows.

Brian entered his house with Esther and put both their coats on the rack. She made him a sandwich with the crusts cut off and the pickle on the bread because he hated it being slathered over the cheese [even though it happened anyway] and made one for herself. Esther could tell that Brian was shaken up by Jack's disappearance. Not only because he was a friend and they were worried for his safety, but seeing Jack, working with Jack, was all part of Brian's routine and he became agitated now there was this change that had been forced upon him because of Jack's actions, not to mention how bad he felt about being shown up in court. She looked at her husband, trying not to stare at him as he watched TV.

Concentrating on the sharp taste of pickle Brian silently sulked in the chair. It was so frustrating to lose all your hard work and credibility as soon as the words "alcohol" and "medical condition" came up. People put you in a little stigmatised box, and when you show any defiance against it, you get blamed. He remembered the people on the jury giving him worried glances as he became inpatient with the questions. Becoming mad made him look mad. No wonder Hanson got off. As the events went round in circles in his head, he was about to asked his wife what she really thought when his phone rang. Digging in so deep that he nearly ripped his pocket out, he yanked the phone out and pressed the talk button thinking that it must be Jack wanting to talk, or wanting to be picked up from somewhere.

"Hello?"

"Brian it's me" It was Gerry.

Brian gave a huge sigh of disappointment.

"What? am I not good enough for your precious peak-time calls?"

"Are you drunk, Gerry?"

"No!"

"I thought you might have been Jack"

"Yeah I know"

Gerry knew that that's how they all felt everytime the phone rang. In that instant, there was this glimmer of hope only to have it snuffed out when a family member or someone you haven't heard from in ten years is on the other end of the line.

"Any news from Sandra?" Asked Brian.

"No, she told me to see if you had anything"

Brian was little annoyed that Gerry hadn't phoned him out of genuine compassion, but because he was told to. They would check in with each other and Sandra in the morning. All of the Jack- hunting had stressed him out completely and he was relived when Esther brought him out a hot cup of tea with two sugars. He sipped his tea and looked at a magazine, wondering how hard it was going to be to track a man who seemed too afraid to be found. Everyone was running away from things at the moment. Sandra from her emotions, Gerry from the truth, Brian running from the past. But the bad thing about those issues as they found out today was that each one of them could dive in front of you and slap you in face, leaving you caught out and embarrassed. He almost found himself relating to Jack. At least he was running away from something tangible. A man who was the Hades of the criminal underworld, a man that proved he could get away with anything, now that Brian had lost his rag in front of everyone. Brian took rushed sips of his tea, hoping that the heat from the scorching drink would help take his mind off his guilt.


End file.
